Discussing possible emergency scenarios with one’s children is never a pleasant topic. Parents do not want to frighten them or create new anxieties. Dr. Sanam Hafeez is a Neuro-psychologist and School Psychologist based in New York City. She has an approach to emergency preparedness that won’t freak your children out.

Tell children an emergency is something unusual that happens. It could hurt people. It could also cause damage to things like houses and cars. Explain to them that nature sometimes provides ‘too much of something’ like, rain, wind or snow. Talk about effects of an emergency that children can relate to. Mention the loss of electricity, water, and telephone service. Also, discuss flooded roads and uprooted trees.  Explain that everyone is better able to take care of themselves in emergencies when they know what to do.

First, teach your children the difference between a problem and an emergency. A problem is something that they need help with, but does not require emergency services. An emergency is a situation that requires immediate assistance from the police or fire department. It also requires immediate medical aid from paramedics or EMTs. When your child experiences a problem, they should decide whether to call you immediately. They might also consider calling a neighbor. Alternatively, they should determine if the problem can wait until you get home. For example, you’d probably want your child to call you if he or she:

• Felt scared
• Had trouble getting into the house
• Got home and found that the electricity was off

The following issues would warrant an immediate call to 9-1-1:

• A fire
• Evidence of a break-in
• A medical emergency, such as someone being unresponsive or bleeding profusely

Step One: Create a Communication Plan

Teach your child one parent’s cell-phone number or a good contact number. Dr. Hafeez says that, “Starting at around age 5, kids are developmentally ready to memorize a 7- or 10-digit number. Practice with your child. Turn the phone number into a song. Use a modified version of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.”

Designate an out-of-state contact. This will be a resource and point person for your family to call.

Choose a location other than your home where your family can meet. You’ll need to go there in case of a fire or an earthquake, for example. Your meeting place might be a local park, school, or shelter. Walk to the site with your child so he/she knows exactly how to get there.

Designate a trusted friend or family member. This person can pick up your kid at child care or school. This is important if you can’t get there in a disaster situation. Be sure that you give official permission to release your child to that person.

Make a card with your plan for each adult’s wallet. Include contact names, your emergency location, and the out-of-state contact number. Put a copy in your school-age child’s backpack, and discuss the plan with your kids.

Inform caregivers and nearby relatives of your plan. Be sure to give a copy of your plan to your child’s teacher too.

If you’re not good at texting, improve your skills. When cell- phone signal strength goes down, texting often still works because it uses less bandwidth and network capacity.

Everyone needs to know about calling 911 in an emergency. Dr. Hafeez stresses that, “Kids also need to know the specifics about what an emergency is. Asking them questions like, “What would you do if we had a fire in our house?” or “What would you do if you saw someone trying to break in?” gives you a chance to discuss what constitutes an emergency and what to do if one occurs. Role playing is an especially good way to address various emergency scenarios and give your kids the confidence they’ll need to handle them”

Dr. Hafeez points out that, “For younger children, it might help to discuss who the emergency workers are in your community. This includes police officers, firefighters, paramedics, doctors, nurses, and so on. You should explain what kinds of things they do to help people who are in trouble. This will clarify not only what types of emergencies can occur, but also who can help.”

When to Call 911

Dr. Hafeez explains that, “Part of understanding what an emergency is, is knowing what is not. A fire requires a call to 911. An intruder in the home requires a call to 911. An unconscious family member requires a call to 911. A skinned knee, a stolen bicycle, or an agreement with a school mate would not. Still, teach your child that if ever in doubt and there’s no adult around to ask, make the call. It’s much better to be safe than sorry”.

Make sure your kids understand that calling 911 as a joke is a crime in many places. In some cities, officials estimate that as much as 75% of the calls made to 911 are non-emergency calls. These are not all pranks. Some people accidentally push the emergency button on their cell phones. Some people don’t realize that 911 is for true emergencies only. It is not for minor issues like a flat tire. It is also not for incidents such as a theft that occurred the week before.

Work Out a Home Evacuation Plan

Your entire family needs a coordinated evacuation plan in case of a fire or natural disaster. This plan ensures everyone exits the house safely. Dr. Hafeez stresses that, “It is important to explain to your child that all material possessions can be replaced. Even their favorite ones. It’s far more important for them to exit the house than it is to save their belongings.” Make sure that he/she knows how to get out of the house if you’re not able to reach her. Ensure she can make her way to a pre-arranged family meeting place. Explain what she should do when he/she arrives there first.”

Discuss Region-Specific Natural Disasters

You probably won’t need to spend much time teaching a child in the Midwest how to manage a hurricane. However, he/she will need to know what to do in the event of a tornado. Talk about the natural disasters that are most likely to occur in your area. Make a specific plan to deal with them. This is imperative, especially if you live in a region that’s particularly prone to environmental emergencies.

Role Play Specific Scenarios

Dr. Hafeez explains, “To determine how much your child knows, role play specific scenarios.” You can see what she still needs to learn about emergency preparedness. She could potentially encounter these scenarios. Public schools practice routine fire drills for a reason. They help kids prepare for an emergency in a relatively low-stress environment. In a high-pressure situation, kids know how to react. Engaging in role playing for serious injury situations, weather emergencies, and a house fire shows you what your child knows. It also highlights potential intruder situations. This approach identifies what they still need to learn. It also helps you teach them more detailed information. This preparation ensures they’re ready to handle any emergency.

After the Emergency: Time for Recovery

Immediately after the emergency situation, try to reduce your child’s fear and anxiety.

Keep the family together. While you look for housing and assistance, you may want to leave your children with relatives or friends. Instead, keep the family together as much as possible. Involve children in your efforts to get the family back on its feet. Children get anxious, and they’ll worry that their parents won’t return.

Explain what will happen next. For example, say, “Tonight, we will all stay together in the shelter.” Dr. Hafeez emphasizes to, “Get down to the child’s eye level and talk to them”.

Encourage children to talk. Let children talk about the emergency and ask questions as much as they want. Encourage children to describe what they’re feeling. Listen to what they say. If possible, include the entire family in the discussion.

Include children in recovery activities. Give children chores that are their responsibility. This will help children feel they are part of the recovery. “Having a task will help them understand that everything will be all right.